Paris, Overrated

© Jessie Kanelos

There is so much love for Paris in the blogosphere and beyond.  How about a little negativity for once, people!  To truly uncover the enchanted Paris of real French people, we must be more negative.   A big part of living abroad is occasionally dealing with a colossally, irrepressibly bad day.  I am talking about the kind of day where I don’t have a red balloon to follow or there is an unromantic downpour en route to an important rendezvous.  Whenever I lament over a bad day with people stateside, I am promptly reminded that I should have no worries living in my glittering Never Never Land.  This is promptly what inspired a new spinoff of, Paris, Overrated.  It will visit every last institution in the City of Darkness and question why it is just so very bad…

I cannot understand how people can mistake French people as being sophisticated.  They never stop cutting their fingernails on the Metro. If I lose an eye to their poor public grooming, then the joke is surely on me.

How can cafés slap a WIFI sticker in the window when it isn’t even free???  “Oui, allô?  This is the 21st century calling!  I’ve got important poking to do! ”

Their dogs are too pure bred!  Come on, someone throw me a Golden Doodle!

Don’t people know they are listening to Christmas music when shoe shopping in the middle of July?  Damn you France, how would you know I whip out my coin purse the second I hear “Little Saint Nick“…

At the end of the day, all these French women are trying to emulate Coco Chanel.  That is, like, so 100 years ago.

I’ve never cared much for dog poop anyway.

Yes, the buildings are majestic, but at the end of the day, they are all just so old!

After 5pm, every other person is carrying a baguette.  Way to break the clichés, Parisians!  But wait, isn’t cliché a French word?

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