bilingual bêtise

© Jessie Kanelos Weiner
© Jessie Kanelos Weiner

Jumping on a one-way plane to Paris and submitting to a year of lingual humility was my way of learning French.  Although I have mastered everything except for the French art of negotiation, my bilingual brain is continually at a loss for words, my speech peppered with long pauses and tortured hand gestures.  With my brain tuned to Franglais, I have started translating from French to English, leaving me with a strangely proper speech pattern.  Is this one of the proven benefits of bilingualism?

Nevertheless, here is an imagined conversation between two expats inspired by my bilingual bêtise:

A. How do you go?

B. I go well.  I am enchanted to finally meet you!

A. Would you like to take a coffee?

B. Yes, it would make me pleasure.

A. I know a bar in the Marais which is quite agreeable.  The prices are correct for the neighborhood. Although the music is strong, it is the most interesting option.

B. Yes, that has a sympathetic air.

A. What do you take to make pleasure?

B. I am feeling greedy. I will take a chocolate good and hot, if you please.

A. I must go.  Embrace your boyfriend very strongly for me.

B. It made me pleasure to see you!

A: Salutations!

. . . . .

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